Insulted by AI
Typically Alph... Gets excited about things that would bore most people to death. Nevertheless, excited I was when setting up the Analphabetic Alphabet, my own space in an (artificial) cloud where I can pursue my last attempt to assess what is left of the "SELF" (it sounds better and more worthy than "illiterate idiot" or "excuse for an existence").
About ready to start the first post, my eye caught the subject of the one and only visitor to my brand new inbox: "Do you need help finding a happier life?" What an anticlimax... As if scrolling through social media, being overwhelmed with motivational and self-help posts, aren't enough. Come to think of it, in lieu of actual emotional support from real people, I should be thankful for the grace of the Great AI...
Really, Alph. Certainly you were meant for bigger things than feeling sorry for yourself and blogging about it? See, Alph wasn't always Alph... Not so many moons ago, people referred to him as Alpha, as he was indeed synonym to great things. Then, circumstances conspired to pull a dirty one on him, which resulted in Alpha becoming Alph, now in dire need of resources, whether financial, human, or emotional of nature...
Financially ruined, almost completely abandoned by everyone, and in a state of complete emotional despair, there is no other way of saying it: I am burnt out - ashes to ashes, dust to dust...
Forced by Failure
Denial is a most dangerous devil, often disguised in procrastination. Therefore, acceptance seems to be the only alternative during these times. Once you have accepted the reality of your circumstances, then - and only then - self-reflection could become a possibility. For the first time in my entire life, I am forced to focus on myself, and only myself, which made me realize that Alph needs to discover the "SELF". I have always been so pre-occupied in focusing on others and meeting their needs, that I have neglected the development of my own identity. Consequently, at the age of 36, I am a stranger to myself.
For now, this is it. Self-reflection and self-discovery seem to be the the first steps on the road to recovery. Perhaps this will eventually lead to the phoenix rising from the ashes - a gradual, powerful force rising to great heights: Alpha... Beta... Gama...
No comments:
Post a Comment